Is life really worth it?
by Dracotk
Summary: Beast Boy decides to end his life. What his and Raven's thoughts are.
1. Beat Boy's Death?

_Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans._

_A/N- I will being using the Titans' real names. Robin is Richard Greyson. Starfire is Kori. Beast Boy is Garfield. Cyborg is Victor. AndRaven is...Raven._

**The easy way out. Part One**

**Beast Boy's POV**

Banging on the door is getting urgent and for the first time in my life, I don't care to answer it.

"Beast Boy?"

That's Kori's voice. The one person that shouldn't see me like this. At least not the first person. But sometimes things happen to you that you can't stop from happening. I feel myself sliding down the wall of the bathroom, my elbow hits the sink on the way down. Ah the funny bone, what a strange feeling it gives you.

"Beast Boy, is everything alright in there?"

Her voice is still cheerful, willing to sing her poems of happiness. Bet you when she sees me, she'll break out into the ones of mourning. My rear hits the floor and wetness sinkd into my green fur. I look down to see myself sitting in my blood. I feel dizzy now, about time. I slump to the side, face hitting the floor. My vision is getting darker.

"Beast Boy?"

**_Whaaam!_**

Wow, that door went all the way across the room.

"Opps, I did not mean tobreak the...Beast Boy? GAR!"

I see her standing there, well I see her lower body. The rest of her is blurred out by this black fog. Why am I seeing black fog?

"Oh my Garfield...Raven! Garfield needs you! He is bleeding!"

Why am I on the floor? Why do I see Kori crying? I feel so tired.

"I am not going to heal his scraped knees agian!"

I smell blood, my blood. Oh yeah, I wanted the pain to end, the hopelessness I feel.

"Raven, the blood is coming from his wrists!"

So many things in my memory are sad. Oh look, a black hole in the wall...or is that the floor. My parents death is still hard to deal with and then there is Terra.

"Please Raven hurry!"

Oh look, Raven's hair is rising out of the hole. I remember the beast with in me, the one that attacked Raven...or protected her...I can't remember, but that was a terrible time. Oh look, theirs Raven's eyes. They look very...big? No wide, thats the word. I hear stomping in the hallway. Stomping? So many villians have said they will stomp me into the ground, and they have.

Oh look Vic is here. I turn my eyes from Raven to Vic. His one good eye is almost as wide as Raven's. But I can't see the red one, his cyber eye. Why is that?

"Oh my...GAR!"

Vic sure does have a loud voice. I'm sure if my head wasn't already ringing, it would after that shout. I so can't wait for peace to catch up with me. That's right, that is why I can't see well. Raven is bending over me, grabbing my wrists. But I can't feel her, strange. Almost like watching a game. Oh I am so tired. There's Raven's head, so close to mine.

"Stay with me Gar, stay awa..."

I can see Raven talk, but no sound is reaching my ears. then I close my eyes to see if that will help. Oh look, I think I see peace at last. Someone opens my eyes and I see a red light fill my sight. Peace left. Then my eye lid close agian. Ah yes there it is, peace at last. No more crude remarks from Raven, no more yelling from Dick on my performance, no more pranks from Victor. I will miss Kori, for she always loves my kitten form, and puppy form, cub, tiger, monkey, horse, infact she likes them all I think. There is a bright light way up ahead, I wonder what it is.

_Let's go look shall we Gar. Sure thing Beast Boy, lead the way! No after you.  
No I must say, you should go first.  
But you were here first.  
Ah, but you saved more lives then I.  
__Beauty__ before beast.  
But we are both beasts right?  
Oh yeah...forgot. I know, lets go togeather.  
Now that is a bright idea._

The light disappears and a strange beeping sound can be heard. I open my eyes to see where it is coming from.I am ina blurrywhite room with a bright light right above me and to the left of me.Slowly myvisionclears up and I see the light above me is a over head lamp. The light to the left of me is the sun outside the window. I look around the room to see several machines with wires running out of them. Wonder where they go? This machine next to my bed has one running from it to...over the rail of the bed...over the covers...to my arm...oh, it stops there. Ah...I know where I am. The medical room in the Titan Tower..._oh shit._

"Oh shit" I whispered.

**To be continued...**

_A/N- Please reveiw and I will continue. Next, Raven's POV._


	2. Raven's heroism?

_A/N- You will see 'Crack!' alot. That's Raven's powers getting out of hand. Wasn't sure what to say or use since she seems not to know that they go out of hand sometimes._

**The Easy way out. Part Two**

**Raven's POV**

_**Crack!**_

Oh...this is so not the day to get on my nerves. But that boy did. Not Garfield this time, no that I could handle. Richard on the other hand, he knows better. So we let the creep get away. That is no reason to yell at us. He may not have yelled at me, which is good for him. But that glare he gave me when I told him to lay off Garfield...

_**Crack!**_

Breath Raven...breath. Last thing I need to do is destroy my stuff. I should meditate for a while. Need to get my balance. Need to find it...breath in...breath out...

_Azarith...metrion...zenthose..._

I really need to learn to not move my lips with my thoughts on this.

_Azarith...metrion...zenthose...azarith...metri_

Someone is knocking on my door. IT NEVER FAILS I SWEAR!

_**Crack!**_

Breath in...breath out...

"Who is it?"

No tone, no emotion. I'm getting better at it.

"It is I friend Raven. May I talk to you?"

That's Kory's voice, but not as cheerful. Why does she always come to me for advice on her troubles? Why not Richard? Forget I asked. I wouldn't ask Richard even for the time of day today. To the door I guess.

"Yes Starfire?"

"Oh friend Raven, I am looking for our friend Beast Boy. Have not seen him since Robin's..."

"No."

"Do you have any..."

"No."

"He seem so sad when Robin was finished. I wish to..."

I close my eyes and tune her out. Such a easy thing to do now, at least on her. Let my mind relax so I can find Garfield and get Kori out of here.

"Hey Star, Rae. What's up?"

Or get distracted by Victor. I didn't even hear him. Yep there he is, red eye and all.

"Oh friend Cyborg, I am looking for Beast Boy. Have you seen him?"

"BB? Let me see."

Victor closes his human eye. He must be linking to the tower.

"Bathroom near the training dojo"

He opens his eye and gives Kori a grin. She claps her hands a few times...wait for it...there's the hug. Victor is the only one who can stand her hugs with no harm.

"You think he will talk to me?"

Kori always worries that she is not needed half the time. She has the biggest heart out of us all. Maybe that is why I can't say no to her sometimes.

"Starfire, you maybe the best to talk to Beast Boy. Your outlook on things are so much brighter then ours, you have a better chance then either one of us."

"Rae is right Star. After you are finish come find me and bring BB with you. I think a outing is in order for today. Away from Bird Nazi."

Way to go Victor. Use a term that Kori doesn't know. Tilts the head and blinks at us for a second then opens her mouth. So predictable that I will answer before she even knows what to ask.

"He means Robin."

The silent "O" face appears on her.

"Then I will find our friend."

Off she goes. I turn and start to head back into my room. But I don't hear Victor's feet moving.

"What?"

"You are going."

A statement? Not a question? Who does he think he is.

"And why?"

Breath in...breath out...smack Rage later for that.

"Because if you don't then you will be the only one left in the tower with the Nazi."

If this was anybody other then Victor or Richard, when he isn't in his...as Victor has put it...Nazi mode, I would tell just ignore their point. But since this is Victor and his point is a very good one...

"Fine."

"...Raven! Garfeild is bleeding!"

Of course he is. When is he never hurting himself on some stupid prank. But Kori's voice seems a bit distressed.

"I am not going to heal his scraped knees agian!"

Three times a week I see him get rug burns or some other injuries from being chased by Victor. And always I kneel down next to him to heal him. Why do I? I'm not sure. I should just walk on by and...

"Raven, the blood is coming from his wrists!"

What? Did she just say his wrists?

_**Crack! Crack! Crack!**_

"Azarithmetrionzenthose"

This portal better move faster then normal.. Kori is saying something as I travel through the darkness. I feel fresh air hit my head as I exit the portal. Then I see Garfield. Oh no.

_**Crack!**_

"Oh my...GAR!"

Damn it Victor.

_**Crack!**_

I pull myself out of the portal and grab his wrists. He is cold.

_**Crack!**_

Heal him...HEAL HIM YOU BITCH!

_**CRACK!**_

"Stay with me Gar, stay awake Gar. Please Gar, don't leave...us."

I was about to say me? Why did I think of myself first?

_**Crack!**_

Breath in... he is healed...breath out...

"What is going on?"

Not the time Richard. I step back so Victor can take care of Garfield.

"Oh Dick..."

Kori is crying and Richard looks lost. Probabley confused because Kori doesn't use their real names unless it is very important. I beleive we all do that in some ways.

"Kori what is wrong?"

Except Richard. He never drops down to nicknames unless we are fighting others or in public. But he hasn't even looked over to see Garfield. So focused on Kori. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Victor there. He wipes my cheek. I was crying?

"He'll be fine Raven. He needs rest and fluids. You saved him in time."

_**CRACK!**_

Reliefe and Joy should never mix.

"He did what?"

Richard is mad agian. I'm a bit surprised at this. I figured he would be a bit concerned for his teammates.

"Off all the stupidest things he has done in the past...THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE!"

"Dick drop it!"

Victor and I say at the same time and with the same rage. Mine just happen to surround Richard with my powers. He blinks in confusion then fear kicks in. Victor gives my shoulder some presure,

"Take Garfield to the Medical Room. I'll handle Nazi boy."

Breath in...breath out... Richard is looking more relax now. He should be since it is Victor who is going to talk to him and not me. I turn my gaze from him to Kori, who has Garfield in her arms. She gives me a smile, a very sad one. She looks around the room once then back at me. I then look around. Oh...the room went through World War 3 without the rest of the world knowing it. Sometimes I hate myself. I hear Victor talking to Richard as I follow Kori down the hall.

"Look dude, we don't know what happen. We need to talk to him first then we can jump to a better conclusion. You know better. But first we need to talk."

I didn't hear anything else as we entered the elevator. Why would Garfield do this? Why would he leave us? Leave us like that? I run through some possible answers and get even more confused about this. Why am I even worried about this? I know I care for him, just like I care for the others. But this is really bugging me. Nothing should bug me like this...except for father...ans Slade...and...

"Raven?"

What? Kori? Oh yeah that's right. Where are we? Medical room already? I must have been thinking to hard to even notice we moved.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"...Yes."

Why did I just lie? Why am I not alright with this?

_**Crack!**_

She blinks at me.

"What?"

I feel myself blush. Why?

"You just destroyed the door behind you Raven."

I what? Damn it! Breath in...breath out.

"Are you sure you are fine friend Raven?"

"We should worry about Gar right now. I will be fine."

Did I just call him Gar? I never do that...do I? I did before didn't I?

_**Crack!**_

I need to be alone!

"You stay her Kori. I'll be back to give you a break."

Not going to even wait for a responce. Got to get to the roof. The fast way.

"Azarith metrion zenthose."

Step in...travel...step out. Fresh air, lite mist. The rain seems to calm me down a bit.

_Azarith...metrion...zenthose...azarith...metrion...zenthose...azarith..._

**2 hours later**

_...Zenthose_

Much better. But now I must go and do as I promised. I'll walk it this time. Garfield better have a good answer for me. I mean us. Breath girl. What would life be without him? No more jokes, no more knocking on my door when I am meditating. No more Stank Ball. No more tofu. Less arguing in the morning or over pizza toppings. No more flies on the wall spying on me. No more kitten eyes or dog kisses. No more emrald eyes. One less person who has been in my head, who saved me from my father and other villians. Who helped repair my broken heart. Who always saw the brighter side of things about me. Who makes bad jokes at the enemy and gives us a chance to surround them. Who is always there...WHAT AM I SAYING?

_**Crack!**_

Breath in...breath out...save money for a new tower, for if I keep this up at this rate...here I am.

"Starfire I am here to...oh hi Vic."

Ah yes, I guess I always call Victor Vic when it is just us two. He is my big brother, but I will never tell him or anyone else that.

"He is going to make it Rae. He just needs to..."

"Oh shit."

That's Garfield. My heart skips a beat then Rage kicks in.

_**Crack!**_

"Oh shit is right Garfield. Now tell us why you did this!"

Very harsh to someone who tried to end their life. And there is the black aura of doom. Something I wish to never use on my teamma...no friends. They are more then just a group who I work with. The aura is gone because Rage is gone. I hate that bitch and hope Timid or Happy get to be with her for life. The torture would be great to watch. But why did Rage disappear? Why is Garfield looking at me like that? That's why Rage left. My emotions saw this look before I even noticed it. Why?

"Why did you save me?"

I'm lost for words. I know why Idid it, but why would he ask that?

**To Be Continued...**

_A/N- There's Raven's POV. Next will be Cyborg because I have no way on how I am going to do Starfires. Her way of thinking is beyond my grasp completely. Not sure on what to do with her. The others I have a fairly good idea as you can see. Beast Boy maybe OOC for the suicide. I'm working on reasons why he did it. More will be said on it in the next chapter if everything goes well. Cyborg should be easy, but you never know. Pairing? I know who and who, but you must read to see._


End file.
